Edie Editorial: Why I Won’t Keep Netflix

Two weeks ago I was not a Netflix subscriber.

In fact, I’ve taken it as a badge of honor that I have not become like all those soccer moms looking to anesthetize their hyperactive kids in the back of a minivan or all those 40-somethings looking to anesthetize themselves at the end of a long day.

I will not be like them. If I’m going to anesthetize myself, I’m going to do it the old fashioned way: With vodka and video games.

Netflix has always struck me as some kind of demented evil nanny, demanding you finish what you’re watching before you can have another DVD. Rationing them out like we’re children. And you have to pay each month for the privilege.

I am far too cool for Netflix, you see. I have a life, and no one tells me when I can watch a movie. No one tells me which movie on my list I get to watch this week.

And no one tells me when I have to go to the post office. I pay bills online for a reason.

In other words, to bastardize Orihime Inoue: I resist!

Then the NXE came, and I swallowed my pride and took the 14-day free trial. The lure of instant viewing was too tempting. When you take the nanny aspect out of Netflix out of the equation, it’s hard to hate the idea. It was everything I like about television without all the things I hate about Netflix. You can’t really argue against that, can you?

My initial reaction was elation. I very publicly asked, “How did I ever live without this?!” Instantly watching obscure British comedies like Ripping Yarns. Reliving my childhood with episodes of Duchess of Duke Street and House of Cards. Curling up on the couch to watch, yet again, the genius of the original Bedazzled.

From what you originally heard on the podcast, you’d think I’d be the poster child for this budding Microsoft-Netflix partnership.

My trial subscription ends tomorrow. And in 13 and a half short days, I’ve changed my mind about the whole thing. I absolutely can live without Netflix on NXE. In fact, I have to wonder if Netflix was ready for this whole NXE in the first place.