[ A fuzzy video feed suddenly interrupts your weekly TV show, as you sit on your favorite recliner. A giant globe wearing a gaming headset backdrops a wood grain podium. The Dillinger Escape Plan sudden erupts through your surround sound speakers nearly waking the 70 year old neighbors next door.
A scruffily faced 24 year old man steps to the podium and instantly adjusts the podium microphone to his mouth. He takes a second to brush off his Soilwork tee shirt, clears his throat with a forced cough, and looks directly at you through the camera’s eye. ]
“ I’m Qualitybeats. Hi . “
More like HIGH and WTF are you doing on my television, you think to yourself. His voice raspy and clearly supporting a Boston accent, continues.
“ I’m here to make the announcement that I’ve been selected to start writing for XBLRadio in 2009. Don’t you dare for a second think I’m going to give you what the others give you….oh no. I write for gamers like myself that have similar interests. Gamers who love games as entertainment. Gamers who enjoy their articles to the point and not excessively explained “
Your intrigued and listen as he continues.
“ I’ve been playing games since I was 6 on the NES. I’ve owned games on the NES, TurboGrafx16, SNES, 3D0, PS1, N64, PS2, Dreamcast, PC, and Xbox. Currently, I own a Xbox360. I dabble in every game genre and try to keep an open mind in everything be it gaming or otherwise. I hope you enjoy what I have planned to write. Lots of reviews, news, and opinions….That’s what this all is right?…It’s all opinions and finding someone who has your similar interests.“
You nod in agreement.
“ Hope you all enjoy everything I’m going to bring to XBLRadio.com. Have yourselves a safe and happy holida….”
[ Suddenly, the podium explodes into a mini mushroom cloud. The camera shakes violently, spins and falls to a “laying on the floor” view. A minute passes as dust and debris clear. A man in a blue and yellow jumpsuit is seen walking off into the sunset with a dog by his side. A mini-nuke rests over his shoulder hiding the print on his back. It reads 101 ]
Here comes 2009!