The Flasher: Games That People Can Afford

Today: Spewer, Swine Flu Salvation and Plumet


Welcome to the ‘The Flasher’. A review spot where I dedicated  hot beat online flash games, with a simple principal: people don’t have money to spend, but flash games are free. In these hard recession times, it’s pretty obvious that some people don’t have spare dosh to splash on full retail games. Thus, ‘The Flasher’ is dedicated in taking you into the heart of every single hot off-the beat flash game. Which ones to play, which ones to avoid and which ones that deserve burning in hell for all eternity. Let’s begin.



Play here at Newgrounds

Spewer is one of the most disgusting games I’ve ever played, but undoubtedly one of the most enjoyable. You play as some little cutesy experiment that has the ability to eat and regurgitate his own vomit… awesome… you basically eat your puke and puke it back up to solve various puzzles. On paper, it sounds horribly disgusting, but in practice it’s  absolute fun. You start off learning the controls and basics of how to use vomit, and then you play with the big boys; swimming through vomit, using various pills to influence your vomit, and even flying.

What Spewer manages to pull off is something that I’ve not seen in a flash game in a while. It’s an absolute genius principal, has cutesy graphics and by far it’s one of the greatest uses of a new mechanic I’ve seen. Puzzlers and ‘disgusting’ games are hot at these time of the year for some reason, and Spewer manages to combine the two… then eat them and turn them into vomit, all to some sort of crazy awesome music. It’s even got a map editor built in for you to tweak, create and share your own designs for levels to vomit in. The whole package is also downloadable for PC/Mac so you can this little gem everywhere.


Swine Flu: Salvation


Play here at Newgrounds

Swine Flu: Salvation isn’t big on mechanics,  presentation, or animation and it isn’t very big at being an actual game either. But what SF:S manages to do is combine Terminator and the swine flu pandemic together to create a morbid thing of pure enjoyment. The main menu screen explains that the plot is “In the year 2018, after the human population was wiped out by Mexican swine flu, the governator, sole survivor of the epidemic, traveled back through time to 2009 to prevent what would later be know as Judgment Day.” Sounds like fun.

What you basically do is use the forward and back keys to move Arnie up and down, then use the spacebar to shoot the incoming infected pigs. After each wave you can spend your points on various upgrades and add-ons like a bayonet and faster shooting. This upgrade system isn’t really that deep and it would actually be pretty neat if we could buy new weapons. After each wave, the pigs obviously get faster and eventually you’ll be zooming across the screen at lightning speed. It’s a fun, fun shooter at heart, not much depth or good presentation (your legs don’t even move) but take it as it is: a joke.




Play here at Newgrounds

I had a lot of fun with Plumet, too much fun actually. It’s probably the most simple and straight-forward of the three I’m reviewing today, but it’s one of the most addicting things I’ve ever played, you will play this for days on end. All you do is move from right to left, dive, roll and dance down platforms that keep spawning upwards and upwards. You really have to play the game to understand what it is. You can’t hit the bottom, but if you get caught on the platform and it hits the ceiling: game over, start again. By god does it get frustrating.

After every minute or so, the platforms fly upwards faster, and faster, and faster. All the time you’re diving, ducking and dancing, you’re gaining a high score. This can obviously be uploaded to a server and shared with others to show off. After about 4 changes in platform speed, you unlock the option to get a new costume on and start dancing with new threads.  These can range from zombies to army dudes to Santa Clause. It doesn’t change the gameplay in any sense whatsoever, but it’s one of those little touches which are welcome. For a closing comment, listen to the music, I’m betting Chuck Norris made it. It’s that good.


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