So Cute You May Barf

There are plenty of sexy women and badass guys in videogames.  There are also plenty of sexy dudes and badass ladies.  Nasty creatures, deadly aliens, killer robots and many other things populate the gaming universe.  While gamers are trying to avoid those dangerous enemies or trying to look down Lara Croft’s shirt, there are some characters that get ignored.  The adorable ones.  So while there are plenty of lists about the most deadly heroes or killer bad guys, this one is for all the little guys out there that were so cute they melted my cold, dead heart.


The Toads – These little citizens of Mushroom Kingdom have never, and will never, stop Bowser from kidnapping Peach.  There must be some reason she keeps them around, other then the fact that she can literally use their little bodies like a shield, and it is probably because there isn’t anything much cuter than seeing a bunch of Toads, with their big mushroom heads, running around.  Subtract the fact that poison can come from their pores, that part ain’t so cute, and the Toads’ cuteness guarantees them a place in Peach’s castle.


The Piñatas – Viva Piñata looks like a kids games.  Lots of cute piñata animals on the cover, a Saturday morning cartoon, even the first hour or so is easy enough for most young gamers to play.  Then, suddenly, you find yourself playing a hardcore game out of nowhere.  Who knew keeping piñatas alive in your garden was so hard?  At the same time gardeners might have to water a plant, stop a fight, get rid of a ruffian, kill a weed, and stop a piñata from eating something.  While running around your garden at warp speed you might forget just how adorable your tenants are.  From your very first Whirlim, Viva Piñata 1 and 2 are about as cute as you can get.  Just try to forget the incest and cannibalism…


Every Lego Character In Every Lego Game – How can you see a Lego Batman and Robin fighting Lego Joker and Harley Quinn or a Lego Darth Vader cut off Lego Luke Skywalker’s hand and not think it was adorable?


Sackboys and Sackgirls – Cute on their own, Sackboys and girls get an extra push toward cuteness because of the tremendous number of ways players can customize them.  Gamers can make tiny roman soldiers, sharks, cardboard robots and even zombies.  Sackboys and girls are customizable adorableness for any gamer playing LittleBigPlanet.

I will stop there since the cuteness overload is probably close to making the title of this post come true.  I hope that even the hardcore gamers, the ones that can’t wait to play God of War III just to gut a centaur (that is going to be too much fun), also appreciate these little guys and girls.

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