Burnout Paradise … As Seen By A Car


First off, yes, I can play games even though I do not have hands and am inanimate, and no, I won’t explain how. Now on to the review. Since the game has over 80 cars, most people think I love it. For the most part this is true. Burnout Paradise deals with races and tracks in much different way compared to most racers. Tracks are just part of the giant available map and it is up to players to find the best way to get from point A to point B. For a car, like myself, this is great because I love to find new routes and shave seconds off my time. The sense of speed is great and the variety of cars opens up the game to different driving styles.


The game’s stumbling block for me is a little mode called Showtime. In this mode players try to crash their car into as many other cars as possible. The game actually gives points to players for hitting more and more cars. For you humans this might seem like great fun but for me it is like a nightmare. What happened to the days when cars in racing games didn’t even take damage?! Everyday I live in fear of getting scratched or nicked. Up until two years ago you people would just throw away a car that got smudged! And now that the economy is in the tank you are looking after us more, which is great. But less of my brothers and sisters are being made. The biggest car companies are shutting down and Burnout wants people to create crashes! Now is not the time to be glorifying car massacre. Please, gamers out there, cherish your cars (or the car you will drive in the future).

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

  • racingfreak92

    if only the game had crashes half exciting as that