For the dedicated gamers who know their stuff this article is not necessarily for you,though you may still enjoy it. Rather I suggest you print this article out and place it in a well lit area where your mom, grandma, or great aunt frequent to be sure that you get exactly what you want or need this holiday season.
Everything you need to know when purchasing a Nintendo Wii
Rule #1: The system doesn’t require anything hot pink to run. I know this may seem odd considering that when you venture down the aisle you are visually assaulted by accessories in every shape or color but unless the person you are shopping for is under the age of ten, steer clear.
Rule #2: Black Friday is one of the only exceptions of a time when you can get well known games for under 15$. If you are shopping on any other day besides November 27th and see a bargain title there is an 89% chance that the game is 100% awful.
Rule #3: The Nintendo Wii may seem like the system for everyone but you must keep in mind who you are purchasing for. If your grandson has been talking about wanting a video game console but would rather scream from the couch for chocolate milk then get up and go to the fridge himself then this is not the system for him. You may think, oh sure, Johnny could really use the exercise, which may be true, but I promise you, your $200 investment will quickly become an overpriced dusty paperweight faster than you can say “childhood obesity”.
The ins and outs of PlayStation purchases
Fact #1: There are many choices when it comes to Sony products but if you are at all concerned about your reputation in the eyes of the gift recipient you have to make sure you are staying up to date. For every PlayStation 3 there are hundreds of PlayStation 2’s. They are so readily available because they are outdated. If you can’t resist the low low prices and decide to wrap one up just be prepared for loads of fake smiles and/or passive aggressive thank you cards.
Fact #2: If you are shopping for strictly games it is important to remember that age old rule of not judging a game by its cover. That is how that saying goes right? There is a long history of awesomely bad cover art for sometimes decent games as can be seen here. The same can be said for beautiful cover art, an amazing flop may be lurking inside. If you find yourself in the position where you need to choose between two titles, don’t be afraid to ask the guy perusing the shelves next to you, he may know more than his long dreadlocks may lead you to believe.
Fact#3: One of Playstation 3’s greatest claims to fame would be the built in Blu-ray player. If this is the console you end up choosing make sure to throw in a Blu-ray movie or two because due to the high prices there is a pretty good chance that they will be the only ones they ever own. That is until The Star Wars Trilogies finally become available.
The layman’s guide to buying an Xbox 360
Option #1: There are many different versions of the popular Xbox console and I have made it my job to help you wade through the sea of choices. Your first and cheapest option would be the Xbox Arcade at $199. It is indeed a great deal but despite the word arcade in the title this option comes with only the bare minimum unless otherwise advertised. Originally xbox.com stated that this version came with 5 arcade titles right out of the box but the site has been changed to say “family settings”, because we all know what kids are asking for this year, restrictions.
Option #2: If you really want to ensure Christmas cards and birthday visits well throughout your silver years you can splurge and purchase an Xbox limited edition console that comes with two wireless controllers and the most popular game of all time, Modern Warfare 2 or an Xbox Elite which is the slightly less cool option but also $100 cheaper. A small price to pay to avoid years of loneliness.
Option #3: Buying a used or refurbished Xbox is also an option but buyer beware, recently Microsoft banned a rumored one million systems for the use of pirated software. What this means is, even if you are savvy enough to seek out great deals on the worlds largest garage sale, also known as Craigslist, the swarms of overly cheap consoles are not the deal they appear. Any system advertised as modded should warrant an immediate red flag as these systems will never be able to connect the user to Xbox live, one of the console’s biggest selling points. Be sure to buy used consoles only from trusted sources such as credited retailers or family members. If you get swindled by shifty neighbor kid well then that’s your own fault.
So get out there and beat those frantic crowds this season! It may mean you have to pull an all nighter for door buster deals but all those adolescent kids waiting in line around you will look at you in astonishment as they call up their grandmas and ask them why the heck they aren’t that cool. When the doors finally open be sure to keep those arms swinging and keep your eyes on the prize.