Top

Character vs. Character: Yoda vs. Mario

Is Yoda any good at plumbing? Is the force strong in Mario? Two iconic, charismatic, and powerful characters engage in deadly combat, as they proudly defend their worlds. And their princesses.

Yoda

The wisest, most skilled and most powerful of the Jedi Masters, Yoda has kicked ass like no other for over 900 years. He took part in a number of important fights, such as the battles of Geonosis, Coruscant, and Kashyyyk, and has trained famous individuals like Dooku, and Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Mario

A jumping plumber who spends way too much time in the Mushroom Kingdom and keeps rescuing princess Peach one time after another in order to get a piece of cake (we don’t know if this cake is a lie). He likes blondes, his favorite food is mushrooms, his favorite color is red, and he likes playing with his fire balls in his spare time.

Yoda

As a Jedi Master, Yoda does not use any weapon other than his trusty lightsaber and his incredible Jedi powers.

Lightsaber – A very agile sword, capable of breaking almost anything that comes in its way.
The Force – Reserved to only a few people, the Force lets the user move objects telekinetically, control the minds of the weak, and be an overall badass.
Bad Mood for being forced to live in Dagobah – You wouldn’t be happy living in a swamp.

Mario

As a plumber, Mario doesn’t use any tubes or tools. Instead, he eats mushrooms, flowers, and the occasional star.

Mushroom – Once Mario eats a mushroom, he becomes Super Mario. A super-sized being capable of kicking goomba’s ass, and yours.
Flower – It lets Mario throw fireballs for an extra awesome factor.
Star – Makes the plumber invincible for a short period of time.
1Up Mushroom – If, by any chance, Mario feels defeated, a good green mushroom may prove handy.
Melee Abilities – Mario has developed incredible fighting skills thanks to 10 years of training in the Hal Laboratories.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away from the Mushroom Kingdom.

After defeating Bowser for the bazillionth time and eating Peach’s cake, Mario decided to keep exploring the galaxy a little bit more. On his way, he helped a good number of people, fed some hungry lumas, and brought peace and happiness to a lot of planets; which in time, made him a well known personality among the galaxy’s population.

Meanwhile, former Jedi Grand Master Yoda was playing chess with himself in Dagobah while wondering why Namco Bandai made him so cheaply overpowered in SC4. Suddenly, something caught his attention; his old radio was broadcasting breaking news about some fellow known as “The Red Bastard” who used his incredible powers to help people. He was so good, even the emperor declared admiration towards him, and invited him to dinner. Yoda sensed that it was time for him to act as well, for if the Empire was becoming involved, then so must he.

“A disturbance in the force, I feel” “Clouded, the bastard’s future is”

Without further ado, the little Jedi embarked on a journey to put a stop on the mysterious good-doer. However, his ship hadn’t been used in a long time, so it wasn’t working properly; his radar was not working at all. Not long after taking off, Yoda hit a wandering hungry luma, who got stuck in the ship’s turbine where it was being slowly mutilated. The luma’s screams were so loud and painful, they could be heard as far as Tatooine, Endor and the Mushroom Kingdom. Naturally, Yoda started losing control of the ship, but thanks to his Jedi mind tricks, he managed to keep it stable for a little while. An instant later, a flash of light appears in the dark sky, forming a red blur that was approaching fast to Yoda’s ship, who, sensing Mario’s presence, dashed towards him.

The warriors clashed in an epic explosion that sent both heroes flying in the opposite direction, making them arrive in a small planet nearby. They quickly recovered, and gave vicious gazes to one another.

“Tell me your name, you will” – Asked Yoda
“It’s-a me… Mario”
“Strong within you, the dark side runs”
“waa-haa!”

Paying little attention to Yoda’s comments, Mario hurries to connect a Super Jump Punch (gaining a couple of coins doing so) on the Jedi’s jaw, who, showing incredible reflexes managed to quickly use the Force to keep Mario away. Then, Yoda takes his lightsaber and tries to hit the plumber, but Mario had his cape equipped, which deflected Yoda’s attack and left him badly hurt.

“Thank you so much-a for to play in my game-a”

But Yoda is a patient guy. He doesn’t lose control. He lays on the floor, stands up, and analyzes the situation. Meanwhile, Mario stares at the Jedi in a mocking way, as if his victory was a sure thing. With incredible speed, Yoda appears behind the iconic plumber, without him even noticing, and pushes him with a strong Force attack. The attack sends Mario flying at high speed, but Yoda manages to appear behind him again to strike him with an even stronger Force attack. Mario ends up on the floor, suffering quietly with unbearable pain.

Yoda prepares himself to kindly end the life of the plumber, and eliminate the possibility of an ally to the Empire. Little did he know that Mario was eating a shiny Smash Bros. icon.

Mario quickly launches a Mario Finale, and millions of Fire Balls fly rabidly towards a surprised Yoda. The reflection in Mario’s eye show how the Fire Balls are pretty close to hitting Yoda, ending the fight for good. Then, he close his eyes in satisfaction, with a soft smile in his face.

However…

Yoda had his lightsaber ready at the time of the Final Smash, and he was fast enough to deflect every single Fire Ball, sending them back to Mario.

Mario dies in a peaceful way, thinking he had achieved another victory in the defense of an inoffensive hungry luma.

Yoda quietly went back to his exile, knowing he had fought for what he believed in, and knowing the war with the Empire was far from over.

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

  • Ben Lehman(wargamer17)

    That was so awesome and humorous. Good job man!