We are a little late on this weeks C.v.C. due to the madness that was E3. To make up for it, we are doing something a little different: A battle of the Brains. This week we are pitting Ratchet’s lovable sidekick, Clank against the Logical Nightmare that is Professor Layton.
Professor Layton: Along with his apprentice, Luke, Professor Layton has been on many adventures. In the states Layton has solved the case of the Curious Village, and the Diabolical Box. He is a master at riddles and a pretty dandy detective as well. There isn’t a mystery he can’t solve. He is the kind of person who seeks out adventure no matter the danger.
Clank: Not content to be Ratchet’s sidekick, Clank has stared in his own adventures from time to time. While still travels the galaxy with Ratchet, he is more of a partner these days instead of a side kick. In recent years Clank has gotten to know his father, a member of the hive-mind race, the Zoni, and saved the universe again, and again.
Logical Mind: Professor Layton’s mind has been hones into a fine machine. Years of mysteries, along with his natural love of riddles have allowed him to see into situations, and think outside of any box he would find himself in, Diabolical or otherwise
Top Hat: Not so much an ability as it is a pure sense of style. Never leaving home without it, many wonder if the hat may hide secrets in and of itself. Rest assured, the hat is symbolic and an intimidating factor in many of Layton’s ill witted adversaries.
Luke: Because Professor Layton has an apprentice, he is always on his game. He can not afford to let his mind ease, even for a second, otherwise his trusty friend Luke could lose his way. Luke also provides an invaluable service, allowing Layton to see some mysteries through a fresh pair of eyes.
Time Manipulation: Clanks time in the Great Clock gave him a scepter that gives him the ability to control time. Stopping it completely, and even rewinding it to replicate himself to solve his own brand of tricky puzzles.
Hand-to-Giant-hand combat: Clank has had to defend himself on may occasions. When he has to lay down the smack, he does so with a very effective three hit combo. Through the power of mechanics, his hands seem to grow with each hit, resulting in his huge hits to be made with huge hands.
Humor: Clank was programed with a certain dry sense of humor by his father, Orvus. His jokes, and infectious laugh takes many of his enemies off guard, allowing him to get the best of them at every turn.
This battle was inspired by Eddie’s triumph over Blaine the Mono. Ladies and Gentlemen, I present Professor Layton and the Lombax Backpack.
Professor Layton was at the abandoned train station waiting for the 3:16 to arrive. The scared look on Luke’s face was all the Professor needed to put a skip in his heart. The two of them had been on may adventures, but after receiving a box with a single Golden Bolt and a letter telling them to catch the Time Train to an undisclosed location. The sense of mystery was too great for Layton to ignore. Layton took his eyes off the abandoned track for two seconds to check his pocket watch only to hear the blast from a trains whistle as the minute hand clicked to 3:16.
Layton and Luke cautiously boarded the train and took their seats. Layton barely had time to check on his apprentice when there was a blinding flash of white light from the outside. By the time his eyes adjusted, thanks to the partial protection from his top hat’s brim. When he was able to see clearly he noticed that, while the light was gone, the outside was still a stark white. When Professor Layton went to ask Luke what he thought about the strange turn of events, he noticed a permanent look of shock on his young apprentices face. Luke seemed to be frozen somehow. Not moving at all. If it wasn’t for the train’s door opening up behind him, the Professor would have spent more time with Luke. As it turned out, Layton left Luke, and exited the train to see a fantastic sight. The train was now floating in a huge room made up of thousands of white cubes. In the middle, on a floating platform was a table with 2 chairs, one normal sized, and one…smaller?
Not knowing how to get to the floating platform, Layton was certain that his host would not let him plummet to his death here and now. Professor Layton took a step of faith and was not entirely surprised to see a few of the white cubes come to his feet, making a floor. Layton made his way to the table in the center of the room and took a seat.
Another bright light shone in front of Layton as a Small Robot appeared out of thin air, with a peculiar laugh. The Small robot sat in the small chair and introduced himself as Clank. Already familiar with the wonderful machines that robots are, the professor began to converse with the tiny metal man. The conversation quickly turned to their favorite subject: Riddles, and Puzzles. Both boasting to be the very best, they decided on a challenge. If Layton to tell a riddle, that Clank couldn’t answer, then he would send Layton and Luke home with a new trophy, The Time Scepter. If Clank could best the Professor, he would get his stylish Hat. The two shook hands and the Battle of Wits had begun.
The Professor started with a decent difficultly of riddle.
You must keep this thing, its loss will affect your brothers. For once yours is lost, it will soon be lost by others.
Clank tapped his metal chin and then, with another peculiar laugh gave his answer: Your Temper.
The smile that spread across Layton’s face made him feel good. He was in for a real battle.
Clank returned in kind with an equally devious riddle:
Inside a burning house, this thing is best to make. And best to make it quickly, before the fire’s too much to take!
Layton only paused to assure Clank that his riddle was formidable, but the answer came all the same: Haste.
This battle went back and forth for what seemed like days. In a place such as this where time meant nothing, hundreds of riddles were thrown back and forth, each time met with correct and timely answers.
You can spin, wheel and twist, but it can turn without moving. What is it?
Can not be bought, can not be sold, even if it’s made of gold.
Consumes all and lays to waste, pull out of its mouth for better taste.
It was getting to the point where Layton was running out or riddles. No riddle would be the same as an answered one, and he did not want to lose his hat to his new shiny friend. He knew what he had to do.
What is the color of a burp?
The look of confusion on Clank’s face was expected by the Professor. Clank began to contest that this was a joke, not a riddle, and therefore a breach in the agreement they had previously come to terms. Layton informed Clank, that jokes were the oldest form of riddles, and if he could not answer he would have to concede the Scepter. Clank refused to admit defeat, and summoned the Scepter to his side. Clanks green eyes turned red as he lifted the scepter high above his head, as if to strike Layton Down for his transgression. Smoke began to come from Clanks head as Layton asked his joke/riddle one more time:
What color is a burp?
Clank let out a humorless laugh as his head began to rattle and and then split apart. the loud bang of his exploding head was muffled as a clear bubble appeared around clank, freezing him into place. There were a few more bright flashes of light as several grey skinned alien creatures floated to the mid-exploded Clank. One handed the scepter to Layton as the others carried off their Robot companion. As a matter of curiosity, the Zoni creature asked what the answer to the question was, and how he knew it would best Clank. Layton explained how every robot he met acted in a very logical way, and the act of being Illogical was strictly a human trait. One artificial Intelligence could not replicate. The Zoni leader congratulated Layton on his aptitude for seeing around his problem, and then again asked what the answer to the joke was.
“Burple,” the Professor replied.
The remaining Zoni looked at him puzzled, and then let out a peculiar laugh.