Character vs. Character: Tom Nook vs. The Merchant

Epic battles are not only fought with fists and weapons, but with strong will and intelligence. Meet the two greatest entrepreneurs in the videogame world, who will show you, not only their stock, but their means to kick ass.
Will The Merchant have to gather oranges in order to pay rent? Is Tom Nook buying at a high price? Get ready for a battle of the ages!

Character Background

Tom Nook: He has increased the poverty in your town to obscene levels. He is relentless and ruthless and wont rest until he sees you on your knees gathering tons of exotic fruit.

The Merchant: He’s the only individual brave enough to sell goods and host shooting galleries in a went-to-hell spaniard village. Wether he makes any profit or not is up to debate, but he certainly knows how to make his way through rough economies.

Character Weapons / Powers

Tom Nook
This guy has a knack for greeting newcomers and selling them new houses, only to leave them with a huge debt they will be paying for the rest of their existence.

Entrepeneur Wisdom: This skill lets Tom know when and how to raise and lower prices; when to trick poor villager into more useless and expensive items, and when is a new house and homeless villager available.

The Merchant
Economic crisis you say? Not for this merchant. I mean, he manages to make a living selling stuff in a village full of brain-controlled people. Talk about reaching new markets!

Entrepeneur Aggressiveness: This skill lets The Merchant survive in rough markets, by innovating in terms of products or marketing. Or just saying “Wweeelcome!” in an attractive way.

The Battle

One rainy night, a sweet and naive kid was leaving his nest, and willing to start a life on his own. Suddenly, an anthropomorphic cat named Rover appears to take the kid to a bus, where he will be headed town where his new life awaits. While onboard, the cat tells the kid a wide array of stories; all of them full of optimism about living alone and meeting new people. The kid was having a good time, he was happy, and anxious to know his new neighborhood.

Note: The legend is not entirely accurate about the kid’s name. We’ll call him José.

The hours pass and the sun raises far away in the horizon; its soft strokes of light let José wake up. He soon realizes he is completely alone. The bus is gone, along with Rover, and José just stares at what appears to be a very quiet village.

José starts walking; everything is very desolated but he is able to hear faint voices. José happily runs towards the sounds, only to find a dog, a sheep and a cow feeding on Rover. The anthropomorphic animals were also very pissed off, shouting things like “Mierda!” and “No dejes que se escape!” while a shocked José just kept watching in horror. All the happy things Rover told him were a lie. Life is not pretty, and living alone is scary, specially when your neighbors tend to eat other people.


Suddenly, José realized he was not alone.

– Wweeeelcome!!

José turned around to see who was talking to him, and saw a very strange figure of man standing in front of him.

– What are you buying!

José panicked and quickly ran to the nearest cabin. He took a deep breath. He remembered. Maybe meeting Rover had a hidden meaning; maybe he was actually trying to say something important. Maybe all of these anthropomorphic creatures eating each other is just a small part in a huge plot that José needs to unwrap. Maybe Rover was killed because he said too much.

José gave it a lot of thought, and remembered Rover said something about buying a new house. Luckily, he took a map of the area last night on the bus, so he quickly took a look at it, in order to find someone who could sell him a house.

There was a place called Nook N’ Go, located at the center of the flesh-eating village. José was pretty much screwed…

– Wweeeelcome!!

The weird guy from before was again in front of José.

– I’ve got good things on sale stranger!!

José stood quiet. He didn’t really know how to react. But then he remembered Rover, and the sacrifice the cat had made for him, so José decided it was time to act. Wasting no time, the brave kid browsed inside the Merchant’s jacket and found all kinds of interesting goods, like a upgradeable handgun, shotgun and all kinds of herbs.

The kid got out of the cabin with the firm conviction of finding Nook N’ Go to buy a house and unwrap the village mysteries once and for all!.

Jose tossed an incendiary grenade just where the anthropomorphic animals were gathering to eat Rover, blowing them to pieces, and then started firing the handgun at everything that moved in the village. The Merchant stood behind, vigilant and quiet. A few minutes later, the village had become a slaughterhouse; a “corpse crossing” of sorts. After José cleared the way he moved forward, only to find a couple of bigger animals in black suits who blocked his way. They didn’t say a word, but it became clear they were guarding something valuable.

Suddenly a godfather-like figure appeared behind. It was a raccoon, and his name was Tom Nook.

Blathers!, K.K. Slider! who is this guy?

– We don’t know master, but this kid killed your whole village.

– What? They still owe me money of their mortgages!!! Grab the bug-catching nets and get me this guy!

However, José was already pointing the shotgun at the raccoon. Tom Nook ordered Blathers and K.K. to protect him, but they hesitate; they don’t move. The angry tanuki keep screaming, promising his slaves to lower the rates of the mortgages. But Blathers and K.K. stay still, contemplating. Tom Nook explodes in anger and start throwing oranges and other types of fruit to José.

– Bwa ha ha ha ha ha! Thank you! -says the Merchant.

Tom Nook stops throwing fruit and stares at the Merchant. Suddenly the raccoon’s eyes get filled with horror. The Merchant keeps smiling.

The Merchant orders José to kindly finish Tom Nook. However, José is reluctant, as he needs to buy a house in order to unwrap the mysteries Rover was trying to tell him.

– Don’t you see José? Tom Nook sold houses to everybody in the village! Therefore they had to pay high rents and they became poor, and crazy and started eating each other!

José sees a lot of logic in what the Merchant said, and presses the trigger. As Tom Nook’s corpse collapses on the ground, Blathers and K.K. Slider react violently, and runs toward José. K.K. takes his guitar and hits the kid with anger. The Merchant, meanwhile, just keeps laughing.

– Bwa ha ha ha ha! Thank you!, Come back any time!

While K.K. and Blathers kept hitting José to death, a dagger appeared in The Merchant’s chest. It was Blanca, a villager who saw everything.

– aargh… what are you buying? -asked The Merchant
– you.. had no right… Tom Nook… high rents… but.. he gave us food… you… lied to us… you… promised us better houses… you only made us hate Tom Nook…. now you die!

Then, Blanca finished The Merchant off, whose corpse slowly collapsed. She was tired. She hasn’t eaten in weeks, just like the rest of the villagers. All because of the greed of two entrepreneurs who wanted power.

Blanca didn’t know of power, she only wanted food, and José’s dead body seemed like a nice choice. However, K.K. and Blathers had other plans, and using The Merchant’s chainsaw, quickly decapitated Blanca, so they could finally have a nice meal.

She had "pwned" painted all over her face

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