On this week’s installment of Character versus Character, we are bringing back some childhood favorites. The too cool Viewtiful Joe and the vengeful Crash Bandicoot are engaging in an all out battle for the ages…and their lost loves.
Joe is a movie lover with an unusual adoration for his idol, Captain Blue. He often used his date nights as an opportunity to see the newest flick, leaving his girlfriend Silvia unsatisfied, until she was kidnapped and he was pulled into Movieland. Now, he spends his days battling the corny-lined characters he once watched on the big screen.
After Dr. Neo alters Crash’s genes only to toss him aside, and away from his new love Tawna, Crash sets out to exact revenge. Wandering the down under and smashing boxes is sure to show Neo. His headbutting rampages and spinning moves are sure to lead him back to Tawna.
As a super hero, Joe has many powers automatically instilled in his being but has a few other tricks up his sleeve.
Air Joe – Along with his regular jump, punch, kick, and sliding kick, Joe can use the Air Joe to do a flying punch kick of death.
Red Hot Kick – If his regular moves fail, Joe can use this move to exact a sliding kick with fire.
Mach Speed – Along being able to slow down time and zoom into a scene to maximize damage, Joe can move at mach speed to really cause a ruckus.
Viewtiful Forever – Joe can strike a photo worthy pose to dodge and hit enemies.
Cheeseburger – 1 pepper of life
Shocking Pink – bomb
Voomerang – Joe’s deadly boomerang
As a marsupial, Crash has a knack for jumping and climbing. Thanks to the experiments, he also has the mental capability to kick ass and take names.
Jump or Spin – Crash can jump on his head or spin to attack enemies and smash crates.
Crates – Arrow crates allow Crash to bounce, striped crates contain fruit, metal crates can be used for steps, ? contain fruit or a token, ! are activated, TNT kick Crash on his butt if he doesn’t watch out, and the crates with Crash’s face give him a life.
Fruit – Not only delicious but if Crash gobbles up 100, he gets an extra life.
As Joe is studying himself in the bathroom mirror and practicing his Viewtiful poses, the door swings open and catches his sleeve. After examining the rip, he looks up to see who the madman that ruined his perfect wardrobe could be. The hairy beast walked past in a daze as if nothing happened.
“Hey, watch it you big ugly animal,” Joe yells.
Crash shakes out of his dream of Tawna in an anger and finally notices the scrawny boy. He goes in full spin towards Joe. Joe falls to the ground but jumps back up quickly to fix his mask.
“Bring it on, baby,” Joe snickers.
Crash gets prepared to jump on his head but just as he does, Joe slows down time and deals a kick to the groin. Crash stumbles away and jumps on the nearby crate for a quick snack. Joe then heads in mach speed towards Crash, throwing him in the air and then uses one of his new cool poses to deal some serious damage.
Just as Joe was making his way to munch on a cheeseburger, Crash smashes a nearby TNT crate and blows Joe out of costume. While Joe is waiting for his crew to find a replacement, Crash repeatedly jumps on his head, bringing him down to his last life.
At the last second, Joe gets back in costume and grabs a Voomerang. He launches the shiny device straight at Crash’s head, knocking him into a toilet. As Crash stands up and begins to shake off, Joe deals an Air Joe, forcing Crash back into the mucky water.
Crash begins to panic and Joe uses the opportunity to locate a bomb out of the props box.
Joe ducks to avoid the flying feces and pieces of Crash. Once the dust, er crap, settles, Joe makes his way over to the stall. Seeing the fur and flesh scattered about, he knows the battle has been won. He takes a moment to mourn the loss of the fluffy fiend and then heads back to the mirror. He will live another day, another day to look Viewtiful.