Unsung Heroes Of Video Games – Vol. 3

Hello Platform Nation Readers and welcome to my final installment of Unsung Heroes Of Video Games. In this miniseries of mine, I have been paying tribute to those behind-the-scenes characters that make our games enjoyable, yet get no credit for it. They work around the clock no matter the situation, pumping out great gaming experiences one after another. In the previous two articles, I payed tribute to the cleaning ladies and to the roadies. In this piece I am giving a shout out to one of the most notorious jobs in all of the video gaming world. Without these hard working guys and gals, just about every FPS out there would be an epic fail. So without further ado, let’s go out with a big bang to this week’s Unsung Heroes, the Acme Explosive Red Barrel Company!

The Acme Explosive Red Barrel Company, or AERBC for short, have had a huge impact on games for a very long time. These hard working folks put everything they have into making some of the best enemy killing red barrels you’ll find anywhere. These aren’t your cheap imitation China made explosive red barrels either. These are good ol’ American made whoop-ass-in-a-can explosive red barrels.

They start with your average red 55 gallon drum. It probably had oil in it, or it may have even had some other manly liquid housed inside (our workers are into recycling). They make sure it’s cleaned out then they fill it up with as much combustible material that will fit. It doesn’t matter what it is. It could be gasoline, C-4, nitroglycerin, TNT, you name it it’s probably in there. Sometimes they’ll even put shrapnel in it to really add some shredding damage to the enemy. The best part is, the enemies are so stupid, that they buy these barrels by the trainload and scatter them all over their bases, forts, and factories. What a bunch of dummies!

Can you even imagine how dull and boring a FPS would be without some explosive red barrels made by the AERBC? You would actually have to take the time out to line up every enemy in your sights and waste precious ammo. But with just one well aimed bullet, you can take out a whole squadron of enemies! Besides, explosions are just plain effing cool.

So next time you are out, running about chasing a terrorist through his compound, take time out to note the explosive red barrels. They will help you conserve your munitions and make one helluva blast to boot! Who doesn’t like to see body parts flying through the air? So let’s give one more explosive shout out to this week’s last Unsung Hero. AERBC, I salute you!

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  • D Demitrius Smith (DDSmitty)

    I keep hearing that “Real Men of Genius” guy talking when I read this article. Funny stuff!

  • I hope that this turns out NOT to be the final and we will see more of these. Like Demitrius said, this is funny stuff.

  • Brian Heitzenrater (FrehleyzComet)

    Well I’ll see what I can do. I initially only had three, but i could probably come up with some more. Thanks for the kind words guys. ^_^

    • you can always put up a call in the forums to the other writers asking for “others”

      • Brian Heitzenrater (FrehleyzComet)

        Not a bad idea. I will get a post up tomorrow as I am going to bed soon. Thanks Master Steve. 🙂

  • Well done. I’m skeptical of the manly fluid, makes me hesitant to shoot those barrels now. Don’t want manlyy fluid getting on me when I search corpses. 🙂