Hello P*N readers and welcome to Unsung Heroes Of Video Games! This is my weekly article where I pay tribute to all the under appreciated people and things that make our video games fun and exciting. This week’s Unsung Hero has been appearing in more and more games as of late. Some of his best work can be found in the Grand Theft Auto series as well as Crackdown 1 and 2. So without further ado, let’s begin. Our Unsung Hero for this week is the illusive Collectable Item Hider!
Very little is known about this guy, but I did do some detective work and was able to find out some tasty tidbits to share with you. On my travels through Gotham City in preparations for Platform Nation’s upcoming Batweek, I came across a little fellow that some of you may know. It was the Travelocity Roaming Gnome. He and I sat down, drank a spot of tea, and discussed the meaning of life. During this discussion, I brought up my curiosity about who the Collectable Item Hider was.
“Well dear chap,” he said, “I just happen to know who this Fancy Nancy is. Why he is none other than my cousin, Gnome Cobbwinkle. Strange fellow he was. Queer as a nine bob note. I remember when we were just wee lads, he would always want to play hide-and-go-seek. He had this uncanny ability to disappear and never be found. Well me and my other cousins would get tired of looking for him so we would go inside and eat some buttered crumpets. Well all of us except for Gnome Chompski. He always wanted to be like Cobbwinkle. He would try hiding too, but he was easy to find. Last I heard, he had headed to the USA. He always liked the carnivals that you yanks put on. I just hope he hasn’t gotten himself into any trouble. Anyway, yes, my cousin is the Collectable Item Hider you are seeking. I highly doubt you’ll ever find him though, old bean. We never could.”
Well there you have it folks. This is one gnome you will never find, but luckily for you, you can find his items. Further discussion with the Roaming Gnome revealed that Cobbwinkle liked hiding so much that he started hiding people’s items from them. He would lay low in a safe hideaway spot and laugh his socks off while watching the poor victim tear their house upside down searching for their car keys, or the postage stamps. Eventually he wound up scoring a gig with the game companies as their Collectable Item Hider. And the rest is history my friend.
So next time you are out and about in Pacific City and you hear the tingly hum of an Agility Orb nearby, or you happen to be driving around in Liberty City and spot a pigeon, don’t thank the programers for hiding these fun to find items. No sir. Thank Gnome Cobbwinkle, Collectable Item Hider extraordinaire.
Gnome Cobbwinkle, I salute you!
*Author’s Note: This article is a work of fiction and is for entertainment purposes only. Please do not take it seriously. Thank you.