Nope, Nintendo sadly isn’t letting us have free women like a generous pimp around the Christmas period. And no, Nintendo isn’t including little fruit…in fact what the hell are dates? Dried prunes that are about as appetising as a basket of rotten fruit being held by Kerry Katona yelling “I got them half price, that’s why I shop in Iceland”..Man that’s quite a few alliterations there and I think I deserve a reward for doing a whole block of writing without actually knowing where I’m going with this. Well, while I frolic in the land of make-believe where I’m genuinely funny and a smart talking parrot controls the world’s fate : here’s the actual point of this article bought to you by IGN.
New Carnival Games: September 21
Samurai Warriors 3: September 27
Wii Party: October 3
NBA Jam: October 5
Just Dance 2: October 12
Kirby’s Epic Yarn: October 17
PokePark Wii — Pikachu’s Adventure: November 1
FlingSmash: November 7
Sonic Colors: November 16
Donkey Kong Country Returns: November 21
Nintendo also pointed out that Goldeneye will be out in November and Disney Epic Mickey will be here sometime this holiday season.
That was fast — Kirby’s Epic Yarn and Donkey Kong Country Returns were just announced a couple months ago at E3.
Here are release dates for several big DS games:
Professor Layton and the Unwound Future: September 12
Pokemon Ranger — Guardian Signs: October 4
Final Fantasy the Four Heroes of Light: October 5
Art Academy: October 25
Rock Band 3: October 29
Mario vs. Donkey Kong – Mini-Land Mayhem: November 14
Super Scribblenauts will be out sometime in October.
Upcoming WiiWare games:
And Yet It Moves: August 23
Bit.Trip Fate: Fall
Super Meat Boy: Holidays
Upcoming DSiWare games:
Need for Speed Nitro-X: September 20
Shantae: Risky’s Revenge: Holidays
Nice to have dates, isn’t it? Sorry, I’ll stop now. I have to say though, Nintendo’s shot at the end of the year has quite a lot of ammo packed considering the lack of 3DS and Zelda, I admire them for that. Currently the best game I’ve played this year is Super Mario Galaxy 2, so Nintendo aren’t doing too shabby anyway. Don’t really know what else I can say now, they’re just dates. You’re probably surprised I’m still typing away, and so am to be honest. Although, before I publish this and go play more CoD, I’d like to let you know I had to go through so much animated porn to find a decent image for the the front page of Platform Nation…in My Pictures. Okay, it’s probably best I stop now, but seriously I should probably alter my Google Image settings, there are some really sick people out there. See, this wouldn’t happen if we had a feathered overlord.