Have you ever had a problem that seems to follow from game to game? I have. Anybody that has played a racing game against me will be aware of the problem. No matter what the game, what console or what style of driving game whether it is sim or arcade style I seem to be drawn magnetically to the centre barrier/reservation/divide.
It can’t be bad driving as I can win races, and it can’t be a bad game mechanic/design/programming as it follows me across multiple titles so what is it? I have thought long and hard of the cause of this and to be honest maybe a little too hard considering it is supposed to be a form of entertainment.
My problem is indecisiveness, when given a choice I can’t decide from left or right and hence I plough straight into the barrier in the middle. When I realised this I had an epiphany. The problem wasn’t just game related it spread across my entire life. I looked back at my life and realised exactly how indecisive I had been. The evidence was everywhere; what job to take, what college to go to, whether to stay in or go out. Suddenly it all came together like a giant jigsaw. I decided to change, I was going to take control of my life and stop letting decisions being made for me.
Armed with this knowledge and a greater feeling of self worth and self control, I decided that I wanted to play a game and I decided to play the game that had vexed me so much and had led me to this life changing moment.
So I started the race, and sure enough not only was I winning, I was destroying the competition. I thought this was a metaphor for my life and I would succeed in life just like I was succeeding in the game. All I needed to do to validate my theory was to win the race, and with one final straight to the finish it was all but certain. However on this straight there happened to be a central reservation which I drove straight into. I didn’t let this get me down as I realised that in life you don’t always finish first so my analogy still worked. Unfortunately the game didn’t agree with my theory and soon I was in third, then fourth and fifth until finally I was in last place again.
It was at this point I decided that I was talking nonsense and that on hindsight my problem wasn’t indecisiveness but rather my lack of skill when under pressure and left it at that.
It’s funny, I always took pride at being a gamer and I thought that I had above average skill but the more that I write these confessions, the more I realise that I really am not that good. It doesn’t really bother as much as I thought it would have, I still enjoy playing games more than any other form of entertainment and will continue to play games for years to come regardless if I am the world’s best player or not.
On a completely unrelated note, if any one of my tens of fans are felling generous this festive period I have an amazon wishlist, so if you have been enjoying my weekly ramblings feel free to shower me with gifts.