Have you ever not been “enough” for your lady? Have you ever been unable to “get it going?”
Understand what I’m saying? I’m asking if you have a small penis. Or if you are impotent. No wonder no one wants to have sex with you. You never listen!
Anyway… If you’ve ever experienced “stage fright” “down there” then you will want to try out our new, all natural, “broken penis” cure!
Its called Trolling! Yes, trolling will make you feel like you are all man. How does trolling work? I’m glad you asked. Let me break it down step by step.
1. Go onto the internet. It doesn’t matter if you go to a message board, blog, play a video game online, ect. Just be able to interact with people without having to actually interact with a fleshy thing.
2. Try as hard as you can to make them mad for no reason! Talk about how their mom is stupid, cheat in a game so that everyone knows that you can totally win if you cheat, talk about how their interests are dumb and they are dumb for being interested in them. Do anything you can think of to make people you don’t know, and never will know, angry.
Thats it! After following my patented 2 step Trolling program you will be on your way to having a viable, working penis! Results should begin instantly. You should feel…
-better about yourself because you are now totally way cooler than someone
-like you can control your world despite having a crippling personality disorder
-less horrible about the girls at school bullying you
-nothing inside because of your horrible existence
Just listen to some of our testimonials!
“I used to feel insecure about my eternally flaccid penis until I started trolling! Now I feel like I have power in my life! ”
“Girls can troll too! I hated being such an incredible bitch. Now I have a way to focus that bitchness into hurting strangers in order to feel better about myself! Who cares that I have no friends and will die alone!”
“After using a glitch to totally destroy in MW2 I can stop hating myself for a couple of hours!”
So please, if your penis is a peNOT then try out Trolling!
Side Affects May Include: Assholeiness, Becoming a husk of a person, Douchebagerry, Getting banned from Xbox Live, Getting banned from having friends, Getting banned from a happy life, Sneezing, and Headaches.