This is the Zombie Bait edition for Techland’s upcoming Dead Island: Riptide game, another undead-filled title set in a bloodied paradise, looks like. It’s only for Australia and select European countries and features a bloody, bikini-clad woman’s torso, the game within a Steelbook case, artwork, and DLC for some weapons. And don’t forget the buxom zombie stump in a severely misappropriated Union Jack. Yeah, that’s there, too.
Swing and a miss, right? I’m not even sure there was a ball to be swinging at given that Dead Island seemed to say all there needed to be said about tropical islands full of melee weapons and zombies, but here we are. This, though, is a definite miss, and for a multitude of reasons. I mean, crikey, it’s basically breasts. You’re basically buying breasts. The Rigor Mortis edition for North America seemed kind of bland with its hula girl figurine and bottle opener, but at least that had the decency to be, well, decent.
Deep Silver, the publisher of Dead Island: Riptide, has confirmed to Kotaku that the American branch was not involved in this, but I don’t know if there’s much to take away from that. Think about the fact that multiple layers of people—a series of checks and balances comprised of executives and designers and people generally involved in society—all agreed that this was a good idea. You know, after Hitman: Absolution‘s sexy nun scandal. After Capcom and BioWare in February. After E3 and PAX. After years and years of hopefully being otherwise acceptable human beings. And that’s not to mention that the thing looks just straight-up bad.
This is what a reductio ad absurdum argument looks like for removing all the crazies from the world. But somewhere along the line, people went and said, “Hey, that’s a good idea!” The worst part is that someone—multiple someones—will look at this and think, “Holy shit, I’ve got to have that!” Excuse me while I look for solace at the bottom of this whiskey bottle.